Blue Eyes?

Okay, they're really more gray than blue. But they're definitely not brown. Both Ben and Will have these amazingly dark brown eyes. You can barely distinguish the pupil from the iris in Ben's peepers. And that, in itself, is weird: the fact that they have these dark brown eyes, that is. My eyes are greenish hazel. Mark's look greenish to me, but he insists they are brown. If so, they are the lightest, greenest brown eyes I've ever seen. They are more like an olive khaki color. So, theoretically, using the 2 gene eye color chart we all learned in school, I could have a recessive brown eye gene and Mark's eye color could be classified as a brown and wa la, boys with brown eyes. Brown eyes so dark they look nothing like either parent's eyes, but whatever. But now we have this possibly blue-eyed baby girl. What's the deal?? No way the 2 gene chart is working for this scenerio. Enter Google. Don't you just love Google? (Even if they might possibly take over the world...) Check this out from the Institute for Molecular Bioscience.
http://www.imb.uq.edu.au/index.html?page=57400&pid=11690

“So contrary to what used to be thought, it is possible for two blue-eyed parents to have a brown-eyed child, although this is not common.”

So, there you go! Fascinating, huh? Ella Rose's eyes could still change color. Most sources I found said eye color is established by about six months for most babies. So, we've got some time yet. Maybe she will have her mama's eyes after all. Come on Green!

Almost a Smile...

The Birth of Ella Rose

Ella Rose is three weeks old today. It has taken me this long to not only get my thoughts together, but to also get some time to write. I am sooooo outnumbered during the week while Mark stays in Charleston. By the time everyone is in bed, I am way too pooped to do anything but go to bed, too.

I've struggled with where to begin this story of Ella Rose's birth. I'm afraid I could write for days (given the opportunity!) with the intent to include all important backstory details--my previous birth experiences, the births of the boys, my thoughts on natural birth, hospital births, midwives...it's all part of the long and winding path that brought us to our decision to have a homebirth without a paid professional attendant. Knowing the mixed audience that will read this, I've felt challenged to reassure, educate, inform, give helpful links, and otherwise infringe on, what ought to be, the simple story of how our family grew in the wee hours of October 16th.

That being said, I will try to keep this short and sweet, but if you want more just email me. ;)

On to the story...

I got the boys in bed and asleep by 8 pm. By 9 pm, contractions began. I wasn't too concerned, especially since I labored for 25 hours with each of the boys, but a short time later I noticed some 'bloody show' (blood tinged mucous) which is a pretty good sign of an impending baby. :)

I called Mark, who had just driven back to Charleston the night before on limited sleep, and told him about the contractions and the show, but assured him that it still could be *days* and that labor could stop at any time--not to worry. I really wanted him to get some sleep in, especially if we were going to have a baby tomorrow night (going by my previous birth timelines here). He said he'd call me in 3 hours. By midnight, I had finished up laundry and the dishes, walked/danced/breathed through contractions that weren't especially strong, nor regular, and was ready to try to sleep. Will woke up then. I crawled into bed with him, but he was unusually restless and wanted to get up. Mark called while I was trying to get Will back to sleep. I told him I was still contracting, but they weren't very regular or strong. He suggested calling back in two hours. I told him, "make it three, I don't think anything is going to happen tonight."

Will would *not* go back to sleep! Around 1 pm, it was too difficult to handle the contractions while lying down. I couldn't get comfortable during them and I really felt the need to be up and walking. So, Will and I went downstairs so we wouldn't wake Ben. At this point, I called Mark back and asked him to come now. I did this mostly because Will was awake and I predicted things only getting more difficult once Ben woke up. Will and I talked about the baby being ready to come out and how Mama had to work hard. He figured out pretty quickly that meant "stop and breathe". For about an hour, my little man sat next to me on the couch while I labored. I think we both fell asleep during contractions then.

Around 2:30, Ben woke up. I brought Will back upstairs and hoped I could get them both back to sleep in bed. Oh no. There was no more sleep to be had by these boys. We told Ben the baby was getting ready to come out. Will told him "Mama breave." They cried. They wailed. They wanted to be held (not possible). I willed my contractions to stop so I could tend to my boys. No luck for any of us. By 2:55, it felt seriously crazy. Mark pulled into the drive, ran inside, scooped up the Midnight Wailers and put them in the car for a usually sure-fire sleep-inducing drive.

Alone again, I was able to get down to the business of baby birthing. Contractions were pretty irregular, still. Some were definitely more intense than others, but they didn't seem particularly organized or spaced evenly. I knew all about the 'stages' of labor and birth, as well as how to manage contractions through deep breathing and deliberate relaxation from a class I took while preparing for Ben's birth. Contractions are supposed to build in intensity and frequency in Stage One until you think you can't possibly go on. That point is then called "transition" where labor may all of a sudden stop, or change. Many mamas get suddenly hot or cold, throw up, or have other intense body changes at this point. After transition, Stage 2 arrives which is the pushing stage. What you are supposed to experience is an overwhelming urge to push that cannot be denied. Shortly thereafter, of course, you have a baby. All of this 'textbook' labor was not happening for me at this point. I decided to run a bath.

Mark arrived home around 3:30 with a sleeping Will and a still-awake Ben. He settled them both on the couch, popped in Ben's favorite movie and came upstairs to check on me. This was one of my favorite moments. The bath felt great and having Mark walk in and put his hands on my belly (sticking out of the water in our not-deep-enough tub) was perfect. He was unable to get home from Iraq for either Ben's or Will's birth, so his actual presence was cause for much joy. I soon felt the need to get out of the tub and stand up. Mark got busy getting supplies ready and making a 'nest' for me on the floor of our bedroom (we were in the attached master bath.) I hung out on the toilet for awhile. This is apparently a really common place for mamas to labor as the position of your body there naturally lets you relax and release the muscles that need relaxing. I started to vocalize through contractions. It was sort of a low moaning that warbled as I let it out. Mark said it sounded like singing. Bless him. :) I tried some different positions during contractions to see what felt the best. Surprisingly to me, I felt best while standing.

Closing in on 5 am, Mark and I were chatting and laughing in between contractions. I commented that we're just not even close to having this baby since I'm still able to have a conversation. I said, "and I'm smiling and laughing!" The very next contraction was when Ella Rose decided to move on out. I was still standing, but in a mid-squat position--the kind you do in aerobics class to work those quads. I said "baby's coming!" and Mark got on his knees to check it out and get his hands ready to catch. The next contraction was when her head appeared and Mark announced "it's in the right position". One more contraction and the rest of her flew out of me into Mark's hands. She was pink, her little arms spread wide open and she cried immediately.

We cuddled together on the floor and tried to get over the shock of it all. It happened so fast and so unexpectedly. We were prepared for another 10 hours of labor! My second baby, Will, had been 10 lbs 6 oz at birth, so I was expecting another big baby. Another surprise--she was much smaller (7 lbs 6 oz, we determined later). But the biggest surprise was about 10 minutes after talking about how small "he" was and how quickly "he" came, we decided to maybe just check and make sure it really was a boy. Funny how we didn't even think to look. :)

After a few minutes, Mark went downstairs to check on the boys. He had been doing this periodically since putting the movie on for Ben. The movie was just ending, Ben was still clinging to his awake state when Mark asked him, "would you like to come see your new baby sister?" Ben answered, "no, thank you" and then promptly fell asleep. Will awoke a short time later and joined us upstairs just in time to help Daddy cut the cord. He climbed up into the bed with Ella Rose and me, snuggled in, and said "hi Baby!" They've been fast friends ever since--she gives out most of her elusive three-week-old smiles when he is near. When Ben awoke a few hours later, he walked in and asked to hold the baby right away. Hooray for harmonious sibling introductions! The harmony continues, and I contribute this to our commitment to include the boys in the birth of their sister.

I contribute many wonderful things to this birth experience--from the knowledge that my body *does* work (not that I ever really doubted it would, just the paid professionals did in my previous births with their litigiously-formed time limit rules--woops! Let that one slip by ;)) to the amazing impact on our marriage and family, the insights into trust and faith and God, and everything in between--I could write on and on. But, I promised short and sweet. So, here she is: Welcome to Home Ella Rose!




Love,
Mama